Strength

I have been called "strong" by many people in my life.  

I have dealt with more than most people know and more than I'll tell to just anyone.

I've kept my head up for so long.

I've taken the cards I've been dealt and grown from them instead of folding to them.

I keep a smile on my face to hide the pain, but it is always there.

I really try and look on the bright side of all situations. 

I try and enjoy the 'small' things and enjoy life's little gifts.

Sometimes even I crumble. 

I'm only human and I feel pain and I hurt.

I've come to realize that I cannot do it all. I cannot help everyone. I cannot change anyone. I cannot be the reason YOU change.  

I have to stop blaming myself. I have to stop thinking I can be your savior. I have to stop thinking that one day you'll be the person I remember from years ago. 

I have to start putting myself first and healing my scars. 

I just don't know how to do it. 

Hope and love keeps me hanging on, but it breaks my heart into pieces that have never been able to be put back together.