Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Let me just start off by saying that I have a really
 hard time being in a relationship.
I push and pull away.  
I try as hard as humanly possible to prove that someone is 
unreliable and almost force someone to leave me. 
I try and make a relationship rocky. 
I test and test.
I expect to be abandoned, so it is like I aim for it...or just try and
 make it happen so I don't have to wait for the downfall or falling out. 
Sounds sick...I know, but it is what it is.
I guess it is good I can admit I do it,
but I also need to implement change.
I need to start working on myself and my actions. 
I need to truly appreciate and see what I'm doing.
It is not only unfair to who I'm in a relationship with,
 but it is also unfair to myself.
Gosh I can be a fool.  


  1. i think we all go through a faze like that, i know i did for a while, and i had to stop and think what was i doing, once you figure out how to change, even if you start with something small you will see a big improvement.

  2. You're young and have plenty of time to work on changing this. You should know it is normal - so don't feel bad about it. If there is something you don't like, change it, it's within your power! Good Luck - change is hard!